Trains and Sourav ganguly

Cricket, politics are the most discussed topics in the first class compartments of local trains in mumbai (anybody traveling by second class is not in a position to discuss anything, because the guy next to him is so close that he might end up kissing him if he tries to talk)other than discussions which go like

"Boss....age chalo"

"aage jagah nahi hai...kidhar jayega...c******"


"c******* kisko bola be....m********"

"abe!!! tera baap m********"


Anyways, coming back to cricket, politics...there is always a danger of you being dragged into the debate if you aren't careful enough. You have to pretend that you didn't hear anything to be kept out of the raging debate. Typically discussions go like this

a: "Woh Ganguly toh c******* hai...khelne ko aata nahi...influence ke dam pe team mein tika hua hai"

(you: groan!!)

b: "usko bithana mangta hai....phir samajh mein aayega"

c: "pura team ko gadhe pe bithake ghumana chahiye"

By now you will have realised that these guys possess an average IQ of 10-20 out of 100.

a: "Kal ke match mein pathan ko opening ke liye kyun bheja"

c: "wahi toh...usko bhi gadhe pe bithake ghumana chahiye"

a: (looking towards you) "kyun bhaisaab, sahi kaha na meine?"

Now, this is a very decisive moment. Whatever you say will deciede the course of your mental peace for the rest of your journey. The ideal response now would be a very non-committal "hmmm", avoiding all eye contact and getting back to reading your newspaper.
But, God forbid, if you say something like "Aur ek match hone ke baad decide karna chahiye". You have had it!!...I mean "you have had it!!" for the next half an hour you are forced into listening endless tales about how ganguly screwed up a match,
about how is he is high - handed, how he took of his shirt, "sala, bahut akdu hai" etc...etc. You sit there, hoping you get to your station before your ears start to bleed.

Another peculiar topic which I generally hear talked about in trains is....'Train timings'. I know it sounds weird, but I have seen (heard actually) a lot men in the age group of 35-45 spending hours talking about which train leaves after which and when it will reach Dadar, CST or wherever.

"Aaj 7:35 ka CST fast late nikala hai"

"Usko sahyadri ke piche choda hai na...iskeliye"

"Kalyan ke signal pe rukayega...saala, hamesha ka natak hai"

These guys are very proud of their know-how and flaunt it like it's a thesis on 'Nuclear Alpha sub-atomic fusion' (do not search this term in Google as I just made it up). I think half their memory and intelligence is occupied in memorizing train timings and where the 'railway ke harami' stop the trains at signals

Anyways, think I have written enough for today. Have to catch the 7:45 local at Dadar before it gets ahead of the Sahyadri .