Trade Talk

Before I get to the topic, I would like thank all of you who have visited my blog and left comments. Encourages me to write more, u know. When I started writing this blog, I thought I would be the only one to read it and would probably have to pay anybody else to read it, but looks like that's not the case.

Trade Talk

Overheard in a bar
"Can that module be replaced with a applet and uploaded on the primary server which does not host the SQL database so that we have a client server connection in realtime"

"No, we can't do that, the DNS server is behind a firewall and a direct connection cannot be established. Waiter...aur ek Old Monk ka quarter do"

I, being a programmer myself, always keep overhearing conversations like this in bars, office cafeteria, local trains etc. I always wonder what's with these programmers who just can't have enough of programmer-talk. Why can't these people behave like normal people and talk about things outside the computer. No wonder these guys are called geeks and stereotyped as guys
wearing thick glasses and peering into their computer screen.

I am sure there are more interesting things in life like ....eh....Mallika Sherawat,'Old Monk ka quarter'.

First of all, it is very difficult to have a conversation with these guys as they don't talk much. Here is a typical conversation from my office

me: "Jackie, ek extra cigarrette hai kya?"
Jackie: "hmmmmm"
me: "Ek cig. milega mujhe?"
Jackie: (suddenly waking from his stupor)"ha bol, kya hua??, file upload kiya kya??"
me: (traces of tears in my eyes) "Mujhe ek cig. dena please?"
Jackie: "Toh aise bolna cigarrette chahiye"(By this time, I've lost all desires to smoke and go back to my computer)

I keep wondering why these guys are so much into whatever they do. To their credit, I should say that these guys are very dedicated to their work and never think about anything else other than their programs and projects. I imagine, Jackie, one day, in a hurry to get to office and upload some files, would walk in in his undies and socks and say "hey guys, it's pretty cold this morning, isn't it?"

I wonder how these guys would speak to their wives or girlfriends on the phone.

Her: hiiiii...what are you doing?

Programmer: I am trying to ping our local server, but the binary data connection has been overridden by a secondary connection to the oracle database.

Her: oh..ok..Are we meeting in the evening?

Programmer: Yeah, I think so...6:30 Server time

her: (sigh) I've bought a little gift for you...a nice cigarette case

Programmer: Is it a 'Upper Case' or a 'Lower Case'???

her: (very angry now) what's wrong with you? Can't you ever be normal?

Programmer: I personally don't like normal datatypes...takes up a lot of space in the memory. I would go with an integer or an array

click....beep....beeeep..beeeep(sound of phone being disconnected)

All said and done, you can't blame these guys. You have to be patient with them and understand them. In my 5 years of experience, I've known programmers to be the most earnest and sweetest of people. I mean...no office politics, no back-biting etc. Just pure tech-talk all the time.

Think I've written enough now...need to get back to my terminal and create a generic function which can convert string datatypes to integer variables and insert them in the database and create a GUID for them. No....better...think I'll head to the bar for a 'Old Monk ka quarter'

See ya later